


burn

by pettynaley



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Attempted Sexual Assault, F/M, I'm so sorry, rucas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 07:09:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettynaley/pseuds/pettynaley
Summary: Riley Matthews is left reeling by the death of someone important to her and she doesn't know how to handle it. She can't just be "okay" now.





	burn

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote, well started, this one-shot for Rucas Fanfic Week 2016, but I wasn't able to finish it until recently. I apologize for all emotional damage this causes, but dark! Riley was interesting to explore. It just had to be done. Enjoy the feels!

It had been two months since the accident, two months of covered dishes, tear strained murmurs of condolence, letters of gratitude, and fake smiles. It was a time period marked by sympathy and the smell of elderly women's perfume. There were constant formal embraces and shoulder squeezes, but not a flicker of warmth. These last four weeks had been the worst moments of Riley Matthew's life. The days had passed tediously, like a fishing line bobber drifting through the current and slowly sinking under the dark waters. 

Drowning. She was drowning. 

The Matthews family had lost their Topanga. Cory lost his wife. Riley and Auggie lost their mother. The world lost all gravity and descended into a life unknown. It was another universe. 

It had been a car accident. The day had been almost like any other in the lifestyle of a creature of habit. Topanga had been running errands, picking things up, paying bills and such. She'd decided to take a cab home that day, something which was fairly uncommon for her, but she was exhausted that day as Auggie had been sick all week; fate is cruel that way. The cab was rear-ended by a tractor-trailer and in that split second, an entirely family was torn apart at the seams. 

The funeral had left Riley numb. She'd felt like she was watching a movie that followed the tragedy of another family as she sat in the front pew of a church, crammed in beside her Dad and Auggie dressed in a black dress her Mother had bought for her months before. Her Grandparents, Uncle Eric, and Josh filled the rest of the row. Shawn, Katy and Maya had been in the pew behind them. Lucas, Zay, Farkle and Smackle had been in the next one back, wanting to support her in her family's mourning in any way they could. Riley's mind had been blank, empty as she stared straight ahead, the voice of the preacher trying to offer an explanation, a resolution in which her Mother's death was part of God's plan mere background noise. Riley herself had spoken at the funeral, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember what she'd rattled on about afterward. She only cried once during the entire procession, which included the burial, and that was when Auggie spoke. He hadn't been able to finish his stories about Topanga as he began to sob in such a way that his body had shuddered. Riley had broke down then as she escorted him off the stage back to their seats, where she'd held him tightly for the remainder of the service. She'd figured if she held him tightly enough, she could weld both of their shattered pieces together. It was up to her. 

The funeral had left Riley numb. She'd felt like she was watching a movie that followed the tragedy of another family as she sat in the front pew of a church, crammed in beside her Dad and Auggie dressed in a black dress her Mother had bought for her months before. Her Grandparents, Uncle Eric, and Josh filled the rest of the row. Shawn, Katy and Maya had been in the pew behind them. Lucas, Zay, Farkle and Smackle had been in the next one back, wanting to support her in her family's mourning in any way they could. Riley's mind had been blank, empty as she stared straight ahead, the voice of the preacher trying to offer an explanation, a resolution in which her Mother's death was part of God's plan mere background noise. Riley herself had spoken at the funeral, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember what she'd rattled on about afterward. She only cried once during the entire procession, which included the burial, and that was when Auggie spoke. He hadn't been able to finish his stories about Topanga as he began to sob in such a way that his body had shuddered. Riley had broke down then as she escorted him off the stage back to their seats, where she'd held him tightly for the remainder of the service. She'd figured if she held him tightly enough, she could weld both of their shattered pieces together. It was up to her. 

Over the next few days following Topanga's death and the funeral, Riley, in midst of her emotional instability and grief, decided it was up to her hold what remained of her family together. In order to do this and keep herself from feeling the ache of loss, Riley convinced herself she didn't haven't the same right to grieve as the rest of her family. Like a broken record, she reminded herself that she wasn't close with her Mother and that they didn't have the relationship that Auggie and Topanga did. Besides, Topanga was merely her mother. She wasn't her soulmate like she was to Riley's father. She wasn't her best friend, her lover. She wasn't her everything. Topanga was all those things to Cory and he lost every single one of them. 

Riley Matthews was bearing down on the path towards self destruction. As the days passed, she bottled her feelings up even more, going as far as keeping them from her friends and boyfriend who were doing everything in their power to support her. Riley's most overwhelming emotion was anger. She was furious at everyone: the world for being so cruel, her mother for leaving her, the driver of the tractor trailer, her father for being so selfish and putting his needs before his kids, and even Auggie for having the privilege of being a child. The list went on. The depth of the rage that went all the way to her core terrified Riley. She'd never known so much hate in her heart, but she kept her mouth shut about it, once again putting the needs of others before herself. Instead, as the weeks wore on, Riley smiled and went back to being the ray of sunshine everyone knew and loved. It was all fake, of course, but no one in her family seemed to notice. 

As more time passed, Riley sunk deeper into her depression. She had became more distant, but managed to keep her charade up. To her friends' credit, they knew she was off, but they didn't pry because they didn't want to put her through even more than she'd already been through. Riley pushed Maya away, needing time away from her shadow and soulmate. Riley also pulled away from Lucas, whose heart she knew was breaking for her. She could see it every time they made eye contact, but she couldn't bring herself to open up about it, not even to her favorite person in the world to talk to. It was as if she'd built a brick wall between her feelings surrounding her Mom's death and her mouth. Maybe she also felt if she didn't talk about it, it wouldn't be real. 

It was now a Friday night two months after the accident. Riley was in her room pretending to do homework as soft music played in the background. She'd been spending more and more time in there lately. From her spot at her desk, Riley could hear the sounds of Auggie and Uncle Eric playing in the living room as Josh washed the dishes from the dinner he had cooked for them all; he was a surprisingly good cook. Neither of them had left since the funeral and it seemed they didn't plan on it any time soon. Riley's Dad was in his room, the door locked and the lights off. He hadn't left his room in days since the school had given him a temporary leave of absence following the funeral. Riley hadn't even spoken to him since Tuesday morning at breakfast where the conversation had began with "good morning" and ended with "I'm not hungry." 

Riley rubbed her temples. Headaches had been a constant pain for her following the funeral. She'd eventfully given up on taking pain killers out of a rational fear she'd become addicted with as many as she was having to take. She eyed the mountain of assignments she had to do that weekend, wondering where the hell to start. Her work had piled up over the past few weeks and she needed to get moving if she wished to make the extended deadlines her teachers had given her. The thing was she didn't really care about completing them; she just knew she had to. 

Riley's phone buzzed and she looked down, seeing she had a text from Lucas. 

To: Princess ♡   
From: My Cowboy ♡   
I'm free tonight. We can spend the evening together if you like. I can be there in 10. 

Despite being completely alone in the room, Riley shook her head in determination. Lucas coming over was the last thing she wanted tonight. She already felt like she was suffocating. If he came over, she'd have to fight the urge to tell him everything she was feeling and that was the last thing she wanted. She didn't have the strength for that. Not today. The week had left her exhausted and drained. 

To: My Cowboy ♡  
From: Princess ♡   
Maybe tomorrow night. I'm really tired. Gonna turn in early probably. 

Riley rubbed her eyes, and closed the text message. She logged on to Instagram, hoping to pass some time with a distraction. As she scrolled through her feed, she saw there was a party going on tonight as many of her classmates were posting photos from it. Darby, whom she'd known since grade school, had posted a picture of her and Yogi dancing in a crowd captioned, "never felt more alive!" 

Riley stopped scrolling, reading the caption again. The party made Darby feel alive; she knew from stories at school that Darby had a reputation for getting completely wasted at parties. Riley couldn't remember the last time she'd felt alive, or felt anything, really. The world was dull, meaningless these days. Nothing mattered and nothing was worth putting faith in. Nothing was felt. It was simply an existence of an unattached routine. Riley was numb and empty and she was tired of it. All of the anger inside of her made Riley stubborn and she was suddenly determined to feel alive. 

Acting before she had time to change her mind, Riley texted Darby and asked for the party's address. Once that was completed, she disappeared into her closet to search for something to wear. After several minutes of decision making, Riley settled on the most scandalous outfit she owned: a black lace crop top that showed off most of her back, stomach and shoulders, it showed off more than it covered, paired with a short matching black lace skirt. She put on black heels to go with the look. Riley touched up her makeup after that, making sure she looked makeup tutorial levels of glam. After she was finished getting ready, Riley stared at herself in the mirror and genuinely smiled. She looked sexy. Grade A sexy. If Lucas could see me, she thought with a small giggle escaping her lips that she shrugged off. Riley checked her phone and saw Darby had sent her the address. She typed a quick thank you before tucking her phone away. 

After Riley locked her bedroom door, she quietly snuck out her window and descended the fire-escape, thinking to herself she was finally going to get to feel alive again. Maybe things would get better. 

***

Lucas 

Lucas Friar laid stretched out on his best friend Zay's bedroom floor, sighing as he read his girlfriend's response to his invitation to spend the evening together. "I'm worried about Riley," Lucas said, his tone concerned, for what was probably the thousandth time in the last two months. It was his constant state of mind anymore. "She keeps distancing herself further from me. She's not okay." 

Zay continued bouncing his baseball against the wall from his spot on the bed. "She's going through a hard time, Lucas. She lost her Mom. All you can do, all any of us can do, is be there for her as much as she'll let us. Things are gonna take time." 

Lucas stood up, frustrated. He kicked the foot of the bed. "There's the problem! She won't let me be there for her. She's practically the master of keeping her feelings to herself!" He exclaimed, crossing his arms. 

Zay's baseball hit the floor as he jumped from Lucas's outburst. He looked back and forth between the ball and Lucas, his face disgusted. Giving up on his mini-game, he patted the spot on the bed next to him and motioned for Lucas to sit down. Lucas reluctantly did. "Man, it's gonna be o to the k. Riley will come to you when she's ready to talk. Trust me, I understand women." 

"Vannessa dumped you-twice." Lucas retorted, wondering how on Earth being on the receiving end of the slip qualified Zay as an expert on women. 

"And you're the fool who spent months as Riley's "brother" when it's been clear since day one you're meant to be together." Zay replied, shrugging his shoulders and giving Lucas the look. "I never played that much." Lucas punched Zay in the arm, making him groan. "I thought we talked about the no hitting me thing!" Zay complained, rubbing the spot where Lucas had hit him. 

"And I thought we talked about the whole thinking before you run your mouth thing." Lucas grumbled in his own defense. He knew he was projecting his agitation at Riley's distance and his concern for her on Zay, as reflected by his short temper, but he couldn't help it. He was worried sick. He just wanted to help her, whatever that meant. Whatever it took.

Zay clearly saw this and understood. He rose, dragging Lucas onto his feet with him. "C'mon, man. There's a huge party tonight. Let's go out and have fun. It'll take our minds off of things. Blow off steam. Whatever works for you." Zay suggested as he grabbed his wallet off his dresser. He ran a comb through his hair, smoothing it, then winked at himself in the mirror. He grinned like a fool. 

"I really shouldn't. Riley might change her mind and ask me to come over. I should probably check on her, anyway. She's been having these terrible nightmares....." Lucas trailed off, remembering how the night after the accident, a night he'd secretly spent in her room in order to keep her safe and comforted, she'd woke up in hysterical tears as she trembled like a junkie in desperate need of a fix. He had held her until dawn after that. 

"Lucas, you will have your phone on you. Riley is a big girl. She'll call if she really needs you. So go have fun. If this situation has taught us all anything, it's that life is short and unpredictable. We don't know when the end will be. We just know it's coming and until then, we need to make the most of every moment." Zay said, solemnly. He squeezed Lucas's shoulder. "You comin' or what?"

Lucas considered him a moment, but eventually nodded his head in confirmation. "You're right. Life is short. Yeah, I'm coming." 

Lucas and Zay rolled up to the house of their classmate who was having the party. It was packed, the small yard a sea of wasted and horny teenagers. Through the windows, Lucas could tell it was the same inside. He and Zay maneuvered their way through, saying a quick hello to the multitude of people they knew. However, there were just as many people they didn't know; most of them they didn't even recognize from the neighborhood. There seemed to be a lot of college kids at this party. 

Zay and Lucas approached the backyard fence where a few other members of the baseball team stood after they finished twenty minutes worth of mingling. Lucas had appointed himself the "designated responsible person" since they had taken the train, so Zay was indulging on one beer. Zay wasn't much of a drinker, though. He hated the taste of alcohol and thought it smelt like something that came from the gutter. 

When Diego, a boy on the team Lucas had became good friends with, saw him, he waved. "Heyy, white shadow, here I thought you weren't coming." He called jokingly with a laugh, "What's up, man?" 

Lucas shrugged his shoulders, smiling. "Guess I just decided to have some fun." 

"I'll drink to that," Zay announced, raising his cup and the other drinkers joined him, each one of them laughing. 

The group of boys talked and laughed about God only knew what for the next twenty minutes or so. The conversation had gradually gotten more inappropriate, but never foul. However, Lucas was shy and hesitant about that kind of thing, at least he was when they talked about it, so his cheeks burned crimson. He prayed his Mother never found out about some of things he and Riley Matthews did when they were alone, that's for sure. Lucas was almost grateful for the drift in subject when he saw another one of his teammates, Jake, heading towards the group, despite the fact that he hated the guy. Jake was arrogant, self-righteous and disrespectful; twice now he had caught him being creepy and making a move on Riley when she was left alone with him and he nearly had bashed his teeth in because of it. Tonight, Jake seemed no different, except he was uncharacteristically excited. 

"Guys, get Friar on the phone. He's gonna loveee this." Jake announced from a short distance away, laughing. He apparently hadn't spotted Lucas yet. "Riley just walked out with some guy and believe me, things were looking anything but just 'friendly' when I blew the coop." 

Suddenly burning red in abrupt and immediate anger, Lucas sprung to his feet and grabbed Jake by the shirt. "What did you just say?" He demanded, his jaw clenching as he tried to conjure up the image in his mind the boy had described. Zay tried to get Lucas to let go of him, to not listen to him and do something stupid. 

Jake looked like a deer caught in headlights; this was clearly his worst nightmare. "Riley left with some guy. They headed towards that factory lot across the street. That's all I know." He threw his hands up in his defense. 

Lucas went stiff. "Who was the guy? Who was she with?" He shouted, tightening his grip. 

"I dunno, he doesn't go to our school. Older, yeah. I think he's Matt's brother. You know, Matt who threw the party." Jake broke out, clearly wanting to not be the object of Lucas's rage. 

Lucas released Jake and shoved him as hard as he could. The boy fell to the ground with a thud. Lucas stormed off, his fists clenched at his side and Zay followed. Lucas wasn't sure if he was tagging along to help find Riley or make sure Lucas didn't kill anyone in his search, or when he eventually found her, because he would find her. Worry and fear made Lucas's stomach churn. Deep in his heart he knew Riley wasn't with that guy because she wanted to be. She would never do that. She would never cheat on him. That's not who she was and that's not who they were. This son of a bitch, whoever he was, had to be forcing her to leave with him and that thought alone was enough to make his blood run hot. 

Lucas hit the parking lot in a frantic run as Zay trailed a few feet behind him. As athletic as Zay was, Lucas was on a mission, so not even he could keep up. Lucas yelled for Riley, hoping she'd answer, but there was no answer. His heart rose in his throat, practically choking him. He had to find her. 

Lucas continued to desperately search the massive lot for his girlfriend. He was growing more and more frustrated with himself. Why wasn't he finding her? He knew what that could mean, that the guy had left and had taken her with him, but he willed himself not to think like that. He just couldn't. He dialed her phone number repeatedly, but each time it went to voicemail. Finally, it seemed his efforts were rewarded. As he reached the outskirts of the lot, he heard pained whimpers from a voice he'd recognize anywhere. He sped up. 

That's when Lucas saw her. The guy Jake had saw her with had Riley pressed up against the very last car on the row in the back corner of the lot. The guy was at least twice her size, big and burly. He was holding her arms down as she struggled in vain, keeping her in place as he worked on lowering her skirt. She was protesting, shoving him as she ordered him to stop, to let her go. 

Blinded by a red mist over his eyes, Lucas ran forward in a burst of rage. He grabbed the guy, yanking him off of Riley and forcing him to release her. Riley yelled Lucas's name as he punched the guy multiple times, then threw him up against the car and Lucas continued to his assault. Lucas had no intention of ever stopping, but Riley positioned herself between the two of them, holding Lucas back. Still seething, Lucas's actions ceased. He grabbed the guy's shirt, pulling his face close so the guy could look him in the eyes. 

"Remember this, you son of a bitch. Don't touch her, don't put your hands on her. Don't come anywhere near her again or you'll deal with me." Lucas threatened, his voice low, angry and commanding. He released the guy, who took off in a run as soon as he was free of Lucas's grip. 

Once he was out of sight, Lucas took Riley's appearance in. Physically, she seemed unhurt. He wasn't sure where her head was, which left him at a crossroads. Normally, Lucas knew exactly what Riley needed, but with the events of the last few months, he had no idea. He wasn't sure what to do or say to her. 

Lucas wasn't given the opportunity to make such a difficult choice, because Riley spoke first. "What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice cold and biting. 

"Some creep tries to rough you up in a parking lot and you ask what I'm doing here?" Lucas retorted, practically sarcastic. The tension that had been their relationship for the last few weeks was effecting this conversation more than he wanted it to. "You said you were staying in tonight. You wanted to turn in early." 

"I lied," Riley replied immediately as if it was that simple, that unimportant.

Lucas was taken aback by her nonchalance. It quickly gave way to deep hurt. "Why?" He asked, rhetorically. "So that's it, Riley? We lie to each other now? Here I thought we told each other everything." 

"It's not a big deal. I just wanted to have some fun." She informed him, shrugging off the issues as well as her shoulders. "There hasn't been much of that lately," She added as a painful reminder. 

"Why didn't you just tell me that? I would have brought you. You didn't have to come alone. You're not alone." Lucas said, stepping forward to take her hand. She looked at him, hesitant, but pulled back. He sighed and rubbed his face, looking away as all the terrible scenarios of what could have happened tonight ran through his head. "I'm glad I was here, Riley. I'm glad Zay brought me to this stupid party. I'm glad Jake ran his stupid mouth to me. I'm really just glad you're okay." 

"I'm not okay, Lucas!" Riley suddenly snapped. He looked back to her and saw her eyes were glassy. She shook her head, apparently deciding she'd said too much. "But I will be," She amended, clearly faking composure. "I would have been okay. I had..... that.... handled." Her tone was adamant, but it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself. 

"Handled? You're kidding. Riley, do you know what would have happened had I not shown up? What that guy planned to do to you?" Lucas shouted, his gaze holding hers. He hoped the longer he looked at her, the more he'd understand about her state of mind. 

Riley looked away, hugging herself. "Of course. It was almost a relief to feel something again, even something so terrible." 

Lucas was furious. With Riley for pushing him away. With himself for not being able to see sooner that she was drowning and for not helping her. "Are you hearing yourself?" 

"I just can't handle this anymore!" Riley broke out, her voice cracking as she raised it. "I miss my Mom, Lucas! I miss her all the time. Do you know what that feels like? To suddenly lose a parent, the one person who's always supposed to be there to protect you and laugh with you and cry with you? It hurts like hell. I am so angry and scared and sad right now that I can't think straight. It's taking everything I've got to keep going for my Dad and Auggie. But I'm tired of it. I'm tired of pretending to be okay when all I really want to do is cry and never stop." 

Lucas watched, helpless and pained, as tears raced down her cheeks and her chest heaved. He hated himself for not seeing this impending break down sooner. She was acting out and picking a fight in order to feel something, to do something with her anger. It was eating her alive. "You don't have to stand there and burn, okay? You have me. I'm here for you and I love you." He shouted, but he wasn't necessarily angry. He was just desperate to break through to her and he felt himself choking on the words, his own feelings from the last few weeks rising to the surface with a vengeance. 

Riley ran her fingers through her hair, unconvinced or not even paying to attention to his declaration of loyalty. Her hands were visibly shaking. "It's too much. It's just too much. I can't do this-I can't." Her voice trailed off in a broken sob, losing it's battle to articulate to her oncoming panic and overwhelming pain. 

Lucas stepped forward, grabbing her and pulling her into his arms. Holding her as tightly as he could, he willed himself to help her in any way he could. He clutched her to him, Riley laying her head upon his chest as she broke down. Her smalls hands clenched at his t-shirt for purchase. Lucas blinked back tears of his own as he stroked her hair, allowing her feel what she needed to feel. 

And it seemed to him she felt it all. Rage. Despair. Loneliness. Utter heartbreak. Every single ugly emotion that had been trapped in her innocent mind. They had been locked away in an attempt to supress them, but they'd finally broken their way through as all things resilient do. 

What felt like a lifetime later, Riley removed herself from Lucas' arms. She wiped at her face, her make up smeared and her cheeks blotchy. To him, she was as beautiful as the day she'd fallen into his lap on the subway. She hugged herself again and Lucas realized she was cold. Wordlessly, he removed his jacket and helped her into it. The sleeves were too long, dangling past her dainty hands and over all it seemed to be wearing her more than she was wearing it, but she would be warm. Besides, Lucas knew Riley liked wearing his clothes. She always said they made her feel small and safe. That's exactly how she needed to feel right now. 

Lucas tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, lingering on her face and doing his best to understand the deep anguish in her eyes in the pitch black twilight night. The streetlights provided an ominous, dull glow and Lucas thanked God once again that he had found her and that she was safe. "You sure that guy didn't hurt you?" Lucas asked, his earlier anger returning.

Riley nodded her head slowly. "He tried, but I didn't let him get very far." She looked down at the ground. "I've never been so scared in my life." 

Lucas kissed her forehead, rubbing her arms in an effort to soothe her. "It's over now. That creep is never gonna bother you again." 

Their moment was interrupted by the approaching figure of Zay. He jogged towards them, looking relieved. He launched himself at Riley and hugged her, nearly knocking her off balance. "Oh, thank God we found you!" He exclaimed in glorious ease. 

"We?" Lucas asked, dumbfounded. 

"Yes, we!" Zay reprimanded, turning to look over his shoulder at his best friend with the sassiest and most judgmental look he could manage. "I was helping the whole time. Until I fell in a hole trying to keep up with that neanderthal and skinned my knee. But I'm okay. Now, where's that creep? I want to show him what happens when you mess with my cotton candy face." 

"Don't worry, Lucas took took care of him." Riley said, sharing a knowing look with her boyfriend. 

Zay slapped Lucas on the back. "Good man. Your mama raised you right." He started rubbing his sore knee. "You guys ready to leave? I think I need a band-aid." 

***   
Later that night, after walking Zay home, Lucas and Riley returned to her apartment. They crawled in through the bay window, her absence apparently going undetected. Riley flicked on her lamp, removing Lucas' jacket. They'd spent the trip in silence, but they'd held hands. It had been comfortable, tranquil. Their best moment in a long time, surely.

Lucas watched as Riley tentatively sat down on the end of her bed. Every move she'd made since the accident had been so precise and delicate, yet overwhelmingly unsure. It was as if she didn't fit or she'd shatter in an instant if not handled with care. Riley had a new fragility to her that she'd never had before. She needed to be taken care of and protected, at least for the time being. 

"Do you want me to stay the night?" Lucas asked, echoing their earlier conversation. 

"You don't have to do-" 

"That's not what I asked. Do you want me here? Yes or no?" 

She pondered this a moment, stalling. "Yes," She finally breathed out. "I don't want to be alone." 

"Alright, then it's settled," Lucas sat down beside her, taking her hand and smiling wryly. "Now, was that so hard? Being open with me?" 

"I'm sorry I've been so distant," Riley replied, her eyes glassy. "I guess I just forgot in all of this that there are people who are here for me and that I don't have to be strong all the time." 

"That's right, you don't have to be. Not when I'm here. Not when any of us are here." He stroked her hair, observing the dark circles under her eyes. "Tired?" 

"Kinda, yeah." Riley glanced towards her desk where a large pile of school work laid waiting impatiently for her to finish it. "But by the looks of it, I'll never sleep again." 

"Don't worry about school. We'll get you caught up. I'll do the busy work for you if I have to." Lucas said in hopes of removing her stress, as well as making her smile. 

"I think they call that cheating, Lucas." She reprimanded, amused. She sighed, tracing shapes on his hand. "I'll get it done eventually. It just seems so unimportant right now." 

"I understand. Duty calls, though. It might help to do something normal." He suggested, leaning back against the pillows. 

Riley stood, grabbing a cami and polka dotted, fuzzy pjama pants from her dresser to change into. Following their standard procedure, Lucas placed his hands over his eyes. He always insisted on doing this as he was ever the gentleman, but Riley didn't get it. He'd seen her practically naked before, she reasoned, which made this no different, but he stuck to his chivalrous ways. They continued to talk while she stripped down, removing everything but her panties. 

"I'm not sure how normal it can feel when my Mom isn't here breathing down my neck making sure all my work is 'A' worthy. Or when my Dad isn't trying to help me do homework for classes he barely passed in school," Riley replied, her voice catching as she replayed those now cherished memories in her head. 

"How is he?" Lucas asked, quietly. If he was being honest with himself, he was pretty angry with his favorite teacher. He understood that he was in a lot of pain right now, but he'd pretty much thrown his daughter to the wolves. Riley was having to deal with this alone and he wasn't there for her. That just didn't seem right to Lucas. Mr. Matthews was supposed to protect and comfort her. 

"Don't know. Haven't talked to him since Tuesday morning." Riley studied herself in her vanity mirror, checking for anything amiss even though they were just pjamas. "You can look now," She informed her dufus of a boyfriend with a playful roll of her eyes. 

Lucas peeked out from behind his fingers, smiling. Riley was probably the most adorable human on the planet without even trying. "Come here and cuddle with me," He told her, patting the spot on the beside him. 

Riley crawled into the bed, being as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake Josh or Eric. Her bed was quite squeaky and they were light sleepers. As Lucas wrapped his arms around her, she rested her head on his chest. The warmth of his body provided her with a sense of security. A stillness settled over her that she hadn't felt in weeks. It was almost heavenly. Lucas absentmindedly played with her hair, running his long fingers through the brown strands. 

"Lucas?" Riley hummed, sitting up to look at him. "Do you believe that things will get better, even if they're the furthest thing from okay right now?" 

Lucas considered this, searching for an appropriate but honest response. He didn't want to upset Riley, but he didn't want to sugar coat this. He wanted to be truthful. They told each other everything. Now was no different. Finally, he said, "I think one day you're gonna wake up, notice something you haven't in a long time and everything won't hurt so much. It won't consume you, I guess. That weight is always gonna be there, but the pain is gonna fade. You'll learn to move on, and I think that's okay." 

Riley nodded slowly, accepting his philosophy. "And my Dad?" 

She seemed so damn lost and it broke his heart that he could offer her no resolution. "I wish I had an answer to that, Riles." Lucas said, whole heartedly. 

Riley returned her head to his chest, more desperate than before to find salvation there. Comfort. Familiarity. Love. Haven. Security. All things that humans crave, she hoped to uncover in the mixed scent of fabric softener and cologne. 

The two of them stared at the ceiling, finding solace or at least a distraction in its peculiar carving. Riley exhaled a heavy sigh. Her voice sounded drained as she whispered, "Me too, Lucas."


End file.
